right now my life seems to be exactly like my blog name "trial and error"
you would think that someone would learn something from my past but i guess i haven't...i don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing...it may be good as i know i still feel but bad as i eventually end up getting hurt
i've never been one to wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't talk about how i feel i usually keep it inside...i think its easier for me to do that than to talk bout how i feel ...so i keep everything bottled up...maybe starting this blog is a way of letting it out...especially since i don't have to talk to anyone in particular or look at them or worse yet them look at me...
i know that a lot of this is really my fault...he was honest about having a girlfriend when he met me...and i was ok with it..he was looking for a lover and i wasn't looking for a boyfriend....but what i did not know then is that i would end up developing feelings for him...
the last 2 weeks changed a lot for me....his girlfriend was away and he stayed over every night expect this one time...but even that night he left really late so was pretty much over...we went camping... it was just something i mentioned to him once and he said we should do it..which we did and it's now a memory that will be etched in my mind...
but now his girlfriend is back and its back to how it was...and its difficult for me as i cant go back to how things were when i know what moving forward feels like
all i keep thinking about now is what he's up to, will he come online or what they are doing and its making me feel like....
yeah i know that i don't know him that well...rather i don't really know him and neither does he know me but i love what i do know...how he makes me feel...how i look forward to spending time with him...how he strokes my hair....says my name...that i could open up to him...
but apart from all that i do know that i want to get to know him...the truth of the matter is that i may like what i see or not.... we may get a long great or not.....things may work out or not......but whatever the outcome may be at least i know i would have gotten a chance to see how it might end up.....but somewhere deep down i know i will never get that chance as i am afraid or know he will not leave her
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- first met - June 1st, 2010 first night together - July 12th, 2010 camping - July 17th - July 19th, 2010
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